Introducing ‘Rhyme nor Reason’ – a SONGLYRICS’ look at lyricists that make us want to jam a pencil in our brain. Or as a man named Shakespeare once wrote: ‘Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season/When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?’

Lil Yachty is a minor league rapper whose lyrics are so plain that he makes 21 Savage sound like J. Cole.

He’s the Old Country Buffet of rap whose creative being is centered around a gimmick, riding out trends and letting his cotton candy lifestyle make up the difference. He’s quick to sell his off brand humor as the future of hip-hop, but he’s a fraud; a con who only perpetuates the same doo-doo rap stanking up the airwaves.

On “All Times” Yachty spits over a Rugrat’s beat and thinks that garbage bangs. He sounds like Kermit the Frog and struggles mightily as he tries to assert himself as a top-tier lyricist. It’s weak and unconvincing. Any softer and it’d be sponsored by Serta: [LISTEN]

All Times

It doesn’t help that Yachty looks like an unfinished cartoon sketch — the lost mayor of Fraggle Rock. His style is just as elementary. When he raps he makes the same face an infant makes when its trying to figure out Play-Doh. He has no strength on the mic, no push or gas to get the fire burning. A half-interested knucklehead who’s treating rap like it were a hobby.

Yachty is that dude that brings peanut butter and jelly to a barbecue. He contributes nothing to the scene, and gladly reps status quo as if it were gospel. His album Teenage Emotions was a bust, and brought his career back significantly. The Bart Simpson of rap had nowhere to hide, and every shortcoming that he came in with took center stage.

Forever Young” is a musical joke, but with no punchline. It meanders in circles, and with no payoff it makes it one of the most agitating rap songs of the past decade. The beat is a throwaway, an abandon mattress in a dirty alley. It’s bum rap and Lil Yacthy sounds perfectly comfortable: [LISTEN]

But we could be together forever/But we could be together forever and ever/I wanna live life with you forever and ever/Together

Yachty is so soft he makes PaRappa the Rapper sound like Tupac. He’s marketed to be disarming and all inclusive, but all that does is place him square in the middle; generic and without personality. He giggles through most songs, and if he put as much work into his writing as he did his braids he’d be the next .

Even when he’s is trying to be aggressive he still sounds like a noodle arm bozo; as intimidating in the cipher as Glass Joe was in Punch-Out!. He’s the type of dude to knock himself out in a fight, all Three Stooges wrapped up into one. “Peek a Boo” is his version of a flex, but instead of exuding strength and moxie he’s portraying wackness and lyrical futility: [LISTEN]

peek a boo

Yachty was plucked from obscurity to be the face of jingle rap. He’s worked with Target, Nautica and Urban Outfitters and his musical style is a combination of all those tastes; mid-level brands that hock cheap merchandise. Teenage Emotions spoke volumes about his core priorities — quantity over quality.

There is no place for a guy like Yachty because all of it is manufactured. He will bend and adjust his style to appease whoever it is that’s signing the checks. The lack of spine is disheartening, and his catch phrase is that he’s bringing something different to the table but he’s yet to show exactly what that thing is.

Yachty is a hot dog, a highly processed microwavable snack made up of mystery meat.”Dirty Mouth” is his anthem, and it’s a grim reminder of where rap can go if left to the masses. An embarrassment to the game: [LISTEN]

Dirty Mouth